Author: livingawordylife

When I was younger my birthday was the most important day of the year because it was my day and my day only…There was cake, presents and my Mom made it the most memorable day of the whole year for me by planning and decorating it with whatever my heart desired. I had the most incredible birthdays you could ever imagine. Dress up parties with real make-up and the food was amazing at each event that she planned. She went above and beyond with every detail to make sure that I felt special and loved. She made all of my dreams come true with each year that came and went for all of my birthdays she never let me down.

My Dad had conferences in the month of September for work and he always seemed to miss my birthday and it always upset me that he was not present on the actual day to celebrate me. He always called and made sure to tell me that I was almost a year older than I actually was so we had something special to giggle about on the phone. He always made me laugh even when I was upset and could not have my way. He knew just what to say to make me redirect my energy into something positive and focus on what really mattered. It was the blue typewriter birthday that sticks out the most that I remember missing him so much- I wanted that typewriter so bad but not as much as I wanted him to be there. He came back early from that conference and I got both that year.

Birthdays have always been important to me and not just mine- everyone’s! I think that we all deserve to be celebrated! My birthday tradition morphed about year 20 and I took that one day and turned it into a complete season. The entire month of September has turned into what I call my birthday season. I celebrate me the entire month… because why just celebrate for just one day?

This year has been a little bit more difficult for me personally. Also, the first time since year 20 that I have not had a birthday season. I am deserving of a celebration but I am not wanting to celebrate. I am deserving of presents but am not wanting to receive any presents. I just keep thinking about my blue typewriter…. how the keys sounded, how the paper loaded and how excited I was to type out all they stories that were in my head. It is that inspiration that I will take with me as I transition to 47 tomorrow because that is my gift and my celebration. I will remember how blessed I am to still have my mother and I will honor my father by sharing my gifts with the world one keystroke at a time.

Be Blessed. I love you all XOXO

I live by the Golden rule. I practice it and I believe that if others did the world would be a kinder place to live. Learn to be gentle with people when interacting with them even just for a moment. Watch your words because you do not know what they are dealing with under the surface of the smile they are projecting to the world.

Your bad day should not bleed into society; trickling down infecting us all with anger, resentment and sadness. What you say and how you say it can have an impact on others and how they feel. There is no excuse for bad behavior at the expense of other peoples emotional well being. I will continue to hope for those that do not know better… and love those that cross my path.

Love you all XOXO- Lisa

I miss my Dad everyday and it seems to grow more each day. It wells up inside until the tears come and wash it away. Then it begins again; this vicious cycle of aching pain that I cannot conquer. I know in my soul that my Daddy is in a good place and I am at peace with his passing. I was just not ready for him to leave me. I was not prepared for him to go on without getting to say goodbye…

Masking my sadness is getting harder. I am missing out on so many things and I am not getting any better at making excuses for why I continue on this path. I know that my Dad would not want this for me and I understand that- but my heart and head are not connecting. Grief is not something that can be explained by one person and executed by another. We all have our own paths and we sometimes must walk them alone.

I will take time when needed and continue to be grateful for my amazing life. I will pray each day and continue to love because that is what I can do-

Be well! I love you all- XOXO

Kinships, Friendships, Loves, Life-Long Partners and many other terms have come to define partnerships or bonds outside of blood relatives that we rely on and treat like family. It is loves you choose and ones you relate to because you have a close connection in spirit, heart and soul. People you connect with; laughing and loving life together.

Time passes at such a different rate when you share it with a friend. It slips through the hourglass so quickly it seems unjust. Stories and secrets are carried through the air-landing upon ears listening to help, heal and empathize. These moments shared do heal us and give us that outlet we need for social therapy. Leading us through times of joy and sadness our outlets give us strength and help us end chapters in our lives and start new ones…

The people we choose in life to lift us up and give us those pep talks are the true stars in our lives.. they come in and take away the rest of the world for just a little while. They make you forget about your troubles, hype you up and help you work through whatever was bothering you. You walk away from an hour session with your girlfriend with coping skills, a little buzz from the wine and your entire week planned out. These sessions give us what we need. They grant you the confidence to give it another shot or the ability to walk away. I can only speak to what my gender experiences in our “pep sessions” but it is not limited to women.

I have chosen so many great friendships in my lifetime and I am reminded of them daily.. I have friends that have spanned decades and some that are new. I cannot tell you how much joy that they all bring me. Over the years I have been blessed to encounter some of the most incredible people who have loved me so hard that even on my worst day I could not crack. I have never known a day that I was not loved and shown compassion by family and friends. I have felt alone; I have never been alone.

I am constantly reminded of people no matter how far away, close by but dearly missed or gone but never forgotten. This was the case as I perused the fiction section at the Library recently. I saw an author that reminded me of MAW aka Jan Boles Cagle. I stopped for a moment to remember how much she loved me and how much I loved her; OH how much I miss her! Fern Michaels was her favorite author for a while so memories popped into my head as I ran my finger down the books on that aisle. She always had a way of hyping me up and she meant every word. Jan believed in me and I was so glad, because she was my boss for a very long time. I referred to her as mom at work- and called her MAW. Jan was kind and she loved our students and staff. Working with her was a dream and she gave me opportunities that helped shape who I am as an educator. I was so happy that it all lead to a friendship that turned into family.

I picked up another book about three girlfriends headed out on a tropical vacation as a bachelorette weekend for one of the girls. The outside cover sounded like something I would love to do with my two besties one of which is getting married! So I was swept away for a moment daydreaming about the three of us hanging on a tropical island and the swell of happiness that took over was amazing. I am so blessed to have them and that I can day dream about a vacation with them; that brings me joy. We can get together brunch, lunch, day drink, girls trip, or whatever is needed. I texted them that afternoon to let them know how much I loved them.

I picked up so many books that afternoon that I was there for over two hours. I enjoyed spending my time there it was an afternoon well spent. It taught me to remember my passion extends beyond my writing and into deep depths of the authors who inspired me. Touching the spines of those books flowed a memory bank of inspiration that I will tap into continuously for creativity. My friendships have given me that freedom to be me. To those that have loved me for me you are forever my CHAMPIONS.

Be Blessed. I love you all. XOXO

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

God has a plan and we must allow that plan to play out as we do what is expected of us as his children. We must have faith in his plan and allow our creator and ruler to be in charge of our adventure here on Earth. I have seen so many different things that explain this concept but have not really taken any of them to heart until this last decade. I think for some reason I have always thought that I was in charge of all of the things that happen in my life. The choices that I make are the reasons that things happen to me… but as I reflect I understand why things happened the way that they did. I am able to see the times when I was so distraught and thought that it was worst times of my life and I could not recover; it was the best of times. I learned that I cannot undo what is done, but I can learn from it and change. I learned not to live in regret, guilt, fear, and anger- instead I live in wisdom, understanding and love. I have faith that God will continue to teach me in all the trials in my life…

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

God gives us what we need and he gives it when we need it. I trust and put all my faith in God. I do not understand what is happening to me now but I trust that God does and he knows what is best for me. I know that I get up everyday and serve a gracious God who truly knows my heart and never gives up on me. That gives me purpose to serve Him to help others as he continues to show me how to share my gifts and all of the love I have to give to those who need it. I keep trying to give it to people who are not accepting of my love. I cannot force who is accepting of my love; giving it freely is my job. I know that my journey with God is growing in love and I am shaping it to be one that will grant me access to my next steps with God.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

It is within our discomfort that we discover who we are and what we can defeat. When you can sit with that pain and remain faithful to God; you can achieve greatness. Perseverance is defined as steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. Basically, when things get hard you keep pushing through despite the challenges that arise until you meet the goal or goals that you wanted to achieve. That is perseverance- never giving up. It helps you to grow and allows you to understand your mistakes and it keeps you from making them again. Or when you make them again you recognize the behavior and understand that you are making the same mistakes again and need to readjust. God does not want you to lack anything. That is knowledge of everything and sometimes those lessons come in ways that challenge you and test you. Have faith and perseverance.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

I believe in miracles and I know that God performs them daily. I have faith in God and all the creations here on Earth. I know that things happen for a reason and I have faith and perseverance and will see it all through…. Be Blessed. XOXO

This is truth… God is in control. We have to be willing to live according to his word and learn to give that love back to others. I am working on all of that…God allows me to love and give that love to others freely. That is my job – that is what he wants from me. Helping others helps you. Giving freely of yourself in honor of God is what he is asking of you; that is what he does for you.

“Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8

He does not want me to sit in judgement of others and choose what their punishment should be; he has that covered. He needs me to be a support for others and show them all the mercy and grace that they need on their journey. Instead of condemning people for their experiences and their journey I will try to find out what is going on with them. It will be my responsibility to try to help without prejudice. People deserve this God gives this, why don’t we? This is so easy and such an interesting concept! I will continue to work on being a better person… I will fulfill my duties as a child of God and continue to help my faithful friends along the way.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ” Luke 6:37

Everyday that I wake I am given another chance to be a better person… today I walk in faith that I am better today than yesterday. I love you all. Help who you can today. Be kind to all that you encounter. Go out today be an Angel for God today reach out to someone who may be hurting…it could change someone’s life. A small gesture goes a long way. I appreciate you all and I hope that you have a wonderful Sunday- Enjoy the sunshine.

Be Blessed. XOXO

I have reflected on the moments in my life where I could have made different choices that would have changed my trajectory and made me land in a totally different place or places..

My childhood was difficult at times and I had moments where I made bad choices and wish that I could change those cringe-worthy moments but I learned from them so I would not change those- I would allow those to stay for educational purposes. They taught me how to cope. They taught me to self soothe, and how to handle things that are thrown into my path and how to have humility. I had to learn very early to accept responsibility for my actions. To apologize for those actions and how to move on and make good on the words that were spoken; bringing them to fruition.

My adolescent years were very difficult for me and I would like to rectify some of the behaviors that I exhibited during those terrible years. I do not think that I would be the only one that would want to do that either! These were tedious years! Years where the body is changing and that combined with being around others whose bodies are doing the same can be an explosive atmosphere…

During these years I had a crisis within my family- Just before my sixteenth birthday my father decided to leave my mother. I was not surprised by his decision to leave. I was not even shaken; a calm took over me. There would be no more uncomfortableness at dinners because of the underlying rage between the two of them that I could feel. I could hear the arguments and I had prayed for it to end. I felt a huge piece of guilt afterwards because they divorced. That I had prayed for it to happen- Not the divorce just that it would end; all the pain that they were causing. It was so hard to live in the same house with them. It was so hard to avoid them and they were always so angry. That guilt slowly went away because I know that I had nothing to do with my parents relationship- my asking God for guidance was what I was taught to do; ask for help when needed.

My father leaving was a pivotal moment in his life. That moment was what he needed. He needed to leave. He knew it was not a good environment for any of us and that had to have been a very hard decision for him. As I reflect on those years when I resented him for leaving and not taking me with him I know what he did; he did with his faith in God. I believe that he made a choice based in faith and much reflection. His choice to leave even based in faith caused a divide and a big separation and did a lot of damage. Damage that cannot be healed or fixed. I understand that was not his intent and he would have never wanted that to happen, but it is what happened-

My father leaving my mother was a pivotal moment in her life. One that she was not prepared for… she was shaken to her core. Taken by surprise and unable to cope with life and its challenges because of her loss. She was strong and she was mad- she was careful to make sure that we were in counseling or seeing the preacher at church. She followed all the advice of others that had preceded her in divorce but she never made it her own- She went through the motions of divorce in the 90’s – she was just so heartbroken it was hard to witness.

As things progressed with this on-going crisis of pending divorce between my parents there came a time when we were moved, taken away from everything that we knew, loved and were familiar with-and taken to my mothers hometown because she felt she needed her parents support. We were introduced to a new school and new classmates. Shown a new home and given new spaces to share. This was too much for me… I acted out. I did not like what was happening and I did not agree with how things were being handled. I was not a babysitter… I felt used and misunderstood. My mom did not have time for me she was too busy being hurt by the divorce- or making sure that I talked to a counselor- she never talked to me other than to say it has nothing to do with you…

It did have something to do with me though… There was so much back and forth! What did your Daddy say? Where did you go? Why did you do that? So many questions… It was unbearable and I just could not answer and I did not want to answer. So the divorce had a lot to do with me. I missed out on a lot because when I needed my parents at a pivotal age I did not get them because they were unavailable- luckily my Grandmother Morris was there and ready with open arms. What a great listener she was…she knew what I was missing and she prayed so hard for me and told me this would make me stronger. It most certainly did…

There was a night in the new house not that long into living there that I decided that I was leaving and going to live with Dad. This was not a good night in that house… Wilson, my brother, decided to come with me so we both packed our bags and waited for my friend from Whiteville to pick us up. He came and drove us back to the home I grew up in since I was 6 years old- out on Dogwood Lane and my Dad greeted us at the door with a hug. It was late so we went straight to bed. No words other than I love you were spoken that night…

This pivotal moment changed me. It changed my family. It divided us into two parts. It has caused pain and hurt feelings that have spanned decades. It has kept us from being able to heal from this break in our family and has continued to keep us separated. My decision allowed us a greater divide- but I would make that decision again. I would make it over and over again. I would go back and relive those days- because those were the best days. They were the ones I remember and smile- ball games, homecomings, haunted houses, hay rides, and lots of love. Daddy never missed a game- he loved and he was stern but he was my parent and I would choose him every time.

Moments in time carry us to where we need to be. This moment in my life haunted me for a very long time. I was afraid to tell my truth because it would hurt someone’s feelings… this period of time shaped me and made me who I am and I stand firm in my truth. There are many sides to a broken home and I just wanted my side to finally be heard…

Be Blessed. I love you all XOXO

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Giving others my strength when they need it has never been a problem for me-I will give all of my strength to those in need. I will give everything I have to give. I want to help those that hurt feel better. I know how bad it feels to hurt and I want to fix that so it stops for them- the pain is unbearable! It makes me feel better… helping others and giving; helps me gain more strength. Loving, giving and being kind comes easy for me it is who I am at my core.

Forgiving others comes easy to some and I am fostering the habits of those and learning new ways. Experiencing love, grace and mercy and extending that to all that you encounter is true forgiveness. I am not a forgiver in my past- not going forward. I am free of it all- I have given it all to God. I have forgiven all! I can only do what God allows me to do and I put all my faith in his purpose and walk with Him. I can no longer carry hate and ill will for others.. I wish for them nothing but love, happiness and all the joy!! All the JOY!!

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Hebrews 13:1 Let brotherly love continue.

Allowing myself to surrender all of the hate I held opens new paths for me.. it gives me the chance to meet and love people that God directly puts in my path. I have in the past looked over or discarded people because of prejudices or misconceptions. I am trying to live my life the way God commands and this will allow me to enjoy the love that I have thrown away for so long. I need love and I strongly want to be able to give that love back; putting faith in Gods selection. HIs selection for me has already shown me paths to victory and I want to be able to show others the way.

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! Psalm 133:1

I am blessed with a family that loves me unconditionally. That loves me harder when I need it- That gives me time when I need time. That grants me grace when I am wrong. That shows me mercy when I am in pain and act out. My family reciprocates Gods love- we love, share and care deeply. Blessings come to us as a family and we are able to handle them just as we are able to handle the storms as they roll in and out. The Rankin family stands as a whole unit; strong in faith and unity. I believe in my family as they believe in me and I cannot tell you how comforting that feeling is- I would not be who I am without my family. I am extremely comforted at Gods choices for me in who he chose for me to be close to in heart and soul.

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

We must remember to love one another and treat others the way that you would want to be treated- I will say this again. It does not matter how someone treats you – it matter how you treat them. No matter what someone does to you it matters what you do to them. God says to show mercy. He says to give grace. Treat that stranger with honor and give them the grace that you would expect to be given… treat them well. Show them that they are worth it. You were put in their path for a reason- fulfill it and let them know that they are loved. You are the one that can make a difference; lets start a revolution. We are the ones who can make the change… today is a great day for that CHANGE!

Be Blessed. I love you all XOXO

Yesterday I decided to make it a beach day in the late afternoon… I packed my beach bag, cooler and loaded my car with a chair and small umbrella. First stop was Chik-fil-A for a sandwich with extra pickles-next I hit HWY 17 to the State Park, Huntington beach where I parked and headed straight to the path for the beach. I was excited and nervous because this was my first trip to the beach since Daddy died. I prayed hard that God would allow me to release my fear and give me strength. I needed God to help me give my love and help me to guide others allowing me grow in my faith. My faith grew yesterday just by a quick stop…

I was stopped along my way down the path and asked by a stranger that was throwing a party for his fathers 80th birthday party – He said “You look very prepared and I need some sunscreen for my father. Do you have any? Can I get just a little bit from you?” I immediately told him yes grabbed it and handed it to him- He took the bottle and went over to the party sprayed his father with the sunscreen and quickly returned the bottle. He looked me in my eyes thanked me and said what a savior I was to him. I told him that he was welcome and to have a wonderful day… and kept moving along the path to the ocean.

Listen to advice and accept instruction and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:20-21

I released all fear in that walk to the ocean. My faith grew from that small encounter… I know that God is in control. I know that he sends messages and I must be willing to receive them. I was not his savior he was mine. He saved me from fear and allowed my FAITH to grow beyond the borders that I had made; he reshaped my relationship with my God. All because he forgot sunscreen… God works with purpose. Believe and receive…

The state park was scattered with people walking- enjoying all the wonderful wildlife, beautiful scenery, and open spaces for riding bikes and throwing parties. People were out enjoying the beautiful weather that we are being blessed with right now… and the locals are trying to enjoy the break that we are having right now- Spring Break is over! This is the time right before we get invaded with tourists that come and enjoy all that beauty that our Inlet has to offer!

As I reached the sand I continued to the spot that I instantly saw when I walked right out past the dunes. I got there dropped everything and started to make this tiny piece of heaven my home for the next couple of hours… The chair was opened – the umbrella was attached to the chair. The towels were pulled out and placed accordingly and the chicken sandwich was eaten. I was finally able to enjoy the salty air and the winds were whipping around yesterday.

We constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

As I sat with my thoughts on the cool sand it penetrated a part of me that was familiar. It offered me comfort. I dug the soles of my feet deep into the Earth as to make my mark there on the beach. Settling into my chair on the beach – I decided yesterday was the day that I jump in head first – Fear is my worst enemy. I feared going to the beach because I did not want to feel emotions I feared healing and losing Daddy.

I did not want to completely lose Daddy- Is that what happens? Do I lose him? I have lost that love and it cannot be replaced. I can accept his loss- but I cannot replace his love. So how do I heal this brokenness? I believe, I have faith and I have those hard emotions I do not want to have, but I know that they are necessary for healing.

As I sat with these questions… I realized that I do not need the answers because I can give it all to God. So I took in the salt air and the sunshine let the wind whip my hair and blow sand all around. Huntington beach is my new home and will give me strength and serve as a scrapbook of memories from my past that made me a strong woman with at loud voice.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. —Proverbs 19:21

I will choose to do what is right for me and love with all that I have – I will give in service of our Lord and Savior all the days of my life. Even if all I need to give is a little bit of sunscreen…

Please remember to love one another- be kind!

Be Blessed. I love you all. XOXO

I am living broken. A piece of me is broken and I am not sure how to fix it. I do not understand the pain. I cannot put into words the hurt, emptiness, fear, loss of myself, and completely terrified of tomorrow feeling. My phone remains on silent. I cannot bear to hear it ring. However, I am obsessed with checking it in case something happens. I am terrified in every moment of my life right now; I am holding on by prayer.

I am using my gifts and giving to others and working in service to to the Lord but it is a struggle. When needed I walk outside and let the gentle wind remind me that my Daddy would be disappointed if I let my emotions stop me from living. I listen to his words echo in my mind and remember that I have to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. I am trying…. I will continue!

Until that time I will walk with my God and I will do what I am supposed to do and I will try to help others. I am one of many who are walking around BROKEN… some have lost many family members. Our land is hurting we are grieving the loss of so many loved ones. Bless us all.

Daddy’s death has been hard.. it was quick and unexpected so that plays a big part in my grief- I keep remembering that in this last year so many people are walking around fractured. All from loss- We have lost so many family members. We have not been able to grieve our family members. We have not been able to give our family members the send off that they deserve. This is the hardest part…

We wanted to give my Daddy the celebration that he deserved when he died. What every family wants when a member passes. We will have celebrations throughout the year for Daddy that we will plan… it was just not traditional and he deserved traditional. He did not get that.. Covid-19 restrictions did not allow that to happen. I am resentful for that- I feel that he was not given what he deserved.

This experience is what helps families to heal. You are able to hear stories about your loved one, you are hugged, loved and encouraged. I missed all of that- So did so many Americans. We were robbed of our grieving process – We were denied the very first step. The most important step the one where people come in and give your their strength so that you can keep yourself from breaking.

I lean on God for my strength.. I know that I will recover and I am beginning to heal. I know that I am not the only one that is hurting, this reminds me to pray for others in their grief and I find comfort in the words of my family and friends who reach out and guide me. Thank you all for your strength that you have loaned me, thank you for your words of encouragement and most importantly your time. I am forever grateful. Remembering especially today:

The grieving process is not linear…

Be Blessed… I love you all. XOXO